I was prompted to write this after reading an article on a popular website for queer women that shall not be named. Mostly because the article was from last month and I missed it at the time but happened to stumble upon it today, and also because the discussion had nothing really to do with the article in the first place, save for a small amount on fat activism and self acceptance within a larger article. Still, I was happy to see the subject come up on this website, where although I personally haven't faced any issues regarding my fat, it's also not something I've seen discussed and really, I don't think it's something that the editors seem interested in.
I've thought about the concept of 'safe spaces' within the queer community a lot, and really, personally, I don't think one space can be completely safe for all people. Though that's a post for another time! I'm all for a good debate too, but something about the comments on this particular post (from someone who 'loves curvy girls!*' really got to me. See, throwing the word 'medical' into a sentence, does not make your argument fact. See "medically healthy weight", "medical obesity increases risk of cancer" and this gem; "being overweight is just as much a health risk as smoking." Ok, we've heard it all before, the internet is full of concern trolling and 'thinsplaining', if you will. The really sad part was the sheer amount of folks agreeing with this person, in a place that I thought of as a safe space for me. It was just, really fucking disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not under any illusion that queers are these perfect beings. I've been harassed over my weight in queer spaces my fair share of times. My fat has been commented upon more times than I can remember, negative or otherwise. (It STILL makes it none of your fucking business.) I just kind of expected better, you know? I kind of expected the users of websites like that to be rad and accepting, and it made me realise that we have so much more work to do.
* I'm not curvy, I'm fat!
It is sad and i know i have had the same with the supposed fat accepting fatshion blogging community. When people post about being all for fuck flattering and fat acceptave at any size then tweet contradicing messages. Makes me sad and wonder about some peoples thought processes. X
ReplyDeleteIt bums me out when you think you're in a safe space, but fatphobia still insidiously creeps in and no one gives a fuck you but you. Eugh. I think the only way to create a truly safe space is quality moderation and setting out rules really clearly, maybe with a way to ban people for breaking the rules. The only place I've found like that is The Fempire, which is a series of subreddits on Reddit based around ShitRedditSays, which points out the awful things reddit says, but also has other groups based on a variety of subjects. x
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